My boyfriend just got arrested for domestic violence and i dont know what to do. Support /r/all
Last night, we got into such a small fight, but i was annoyed so I was packing a suitcase to go to my parents. Then he came upstairs and it's all such a blur, but things escalated to where he grabbed my phone (I was recording because when this sort of thing happens i tend to gaslight myself a lot) and started choking me and put his foot on my neck. That's when it hit me that I could die. Not on purpose bc i really do feel he is a good guy, but when he is angry, sometimes i feel he doesn't eealize how angry he gets.
I called my parents and he even talked to them a little, blaming me for everything. He had a lot of scratches on his face and chest from when he was choking me. I ended up trying to get a hotel for the night, but I'm alone in a new city and it was close to 3. I couldnt find one. So, I came home and slept on the couch. He came downstairs a few times to talk (sometimes he was agggressive, sometimes he really seemed to care) and i even went upstairs to talk and apologize, but he blatantly called me abusive and said it was all my fault for getting him mad. This sort of thing has happened with us before and I used to believe him when he blamed me, but I've been on anti anxiety medication for a few months now which has really changed how i react emotionally and I knew I didn't instigate him.
Well, we slept it off and i was planning on grabbing as much as i could and going to my parents house and never seeing him again. This morning though, the police came. I guess the neigbhors called. They ended up taking him away in handcuffs. Its been a few hours now and I can't help but blame myself. Idk what to do.
Update - hi everyone. i honestly didnt expect to get so many responses and ive been overwhelmed to say the least. my dad is flying down soon and we are going to grab as much as we can and drive to my parents home. I'll probably lie low and go to therapy, etc. i am honestly still in shock and processing a lot of what has happened. I do want to thank everyone who has been so kind. I did feel really guilty about him going to jail so a lot of these comments really helped validate my feelings that i was in the right and not being crazy and I appreciate that a lot. apparently his bail has been posted by his dad and the lawyers are not letting him come home until my dad and i leave so that's good. I will probably look into a restaining order in the morning. thanks again for all the responses i feel bad i couldnt reply to any individually, but im still processing a lot / crying / shaking idk. The worst thing is i have actually offered to go to anger management classes w him multiple times and he never would even entertain it. but thank you everyone again. /:
Update 2 - thank you everyone who has commented or messaged. Your support has helped me through this so so much. I have moved out and blocked everywhere. I'm going to get medical care in the morning as well as a restraining order and will most likely press charges. I can't respond to every commenter, but know that i have been reading through and it means a lot.